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Be The Change

"Be the change you wish to see in the world" -Ghandi. I am sick and tired of sitting back and watching as this world continues to spiral out of control. I want to make a change. I want to make a difference. I want to make that difference now.

Posts tagged gender

Nov 5 '12

Need To Vent (don’t mind me/ignore me)

The job I am currently working at deals with big television networks like Fox, Bravo and NBC. I am currently in charge of the panel for the NBC network which is basically the viewers voice section of the NBC panel. Sooo I get feedback/comments/opinions about shows from a bunch of people who have nothing better to do with their lives but complain about the most pointless of things. So since I am not allowed to respond to the assholes who bombard my email with their hate and lack of education I need to vent here real quick. 

If I get another email spewing hate over the gay storyline in the soap opera Days Of Our Lives, I am going to go insane. The worst part is not being able to tell these people how mean, ignorant, hateful and non understanding they are. I want so bad to send a novel to these people explaining why there needs to be a gay representation on day time television (since there are virtually none). So here it goes:

To the people saying “I accept gay people but it is unnecessary and disgusting and unnatural to see two men kiss/being intimate/touching/in bed with each other.” or “I can accept gay people but stop cramming homosexuality down our throats” here’s some knowledge:

you have not and cannot say or claim that you have accepted gay people if you demean gay sex as being “disgusting” or that showing affection does not need to be shown on television. You cannot accept a person and then give them guidelines to your acception. When you say you have “accepted” homosexuality but have not “accepted” any of the culture then you have not merely accepted it you have only accepted the term gay. You have not accepted people and you have not accepted their love or human rights, you have only made your self feel better because you can accept that some where in the dark, gay people exist. Gay sex is no different than straight sex. Gay intimacy is no different than straight intimacy and the fact that you expect people to shy away from their love and their affection for their partner while you are allowed to do as you please because you are apart of a privileged and socially acceptable class is pathetic. A man and a woman kissing and having sex on tv? that’s fine. Two men? forget about it! Obscene! Disgusting! Gross! I mean come on, it’s year 2012, almost 2013. We are supposed to be moving forward, we are supposed to be getting smarter. Stop being ignorant and using your ignorance to infringe hate and shame upon other people. 

And how on earth can someone cram homosexuality down your throat??? I just don’t even know how to begin with a statement like this. How dare you be so ignorant?? What if someone were to say STOP CRAMMING HETEROSEXUALITY DOWN OUR THROATS. Come on people, think about what you are even saying here. The only reason you feel like homosexuality is being crammed down your throat is because you come from a culture that perpetuates straightness as the default and ONLY form of sexual partnership. You feel that by having one representation of homosexual relations in one television show is “cramming gayness” down your throat???? I’m sorry let’s count how many cis-heterosexual relationships there are on television…..HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS. But you are right, that one pairing is just wayyyyy too much. How dare you NBC! 

To the people who are saying “there could be children watching!!”:

And this is a bad thing because……….your children seeing representations of other forms of love and relationships is bad because………………………..your children being more accepting and loving of other people despite who they love is extremely threatening because………….your child breaking the ignorance that you and our society are trying to perpetuate is bad because…….The only argument I can understand is the explicitness of the sexual encounters but if you are only complaining about the homosexual sex scenes being too graphic and not the heterosexual ones then your problem does not lie with the explicit content it lies with homophobic pretenses. 

To the people who are saying “you are tired of the network trying to suggest that homosexuals are born gay and that you are glad for homophobic characters because “there are two sides to a coin”“:

No, just no. Just stop talking now. If you have the audacity to sit there and try to tell me that gay people choose to be gay, you need to kindly get out of my face because it is one of the most ignorant statements that can ever leave your mouth. That is like saying you chose the skin color that you were born with, or that you chose which color eyes or hair to have. That is like saying you chose your set of parents. DID YOU CHOSE TO BE HETEROSEXUAL? Was there a day in your life or a week or a month or a year where you suddenly came to a crossroads and chose to be heterosexual??? Where you chose who you are and are not attracted to? No, no you did not. So why do you think homosexuals are that much more special that they were given this glorious gift of a choice. That one day they woke up and decided “nahhhh I’m all set with the opposite sex I am going be attracted to people of the same gender as me because I feel like it, because I want to rebel, because I want to be hated and out-casted by society”. Because being gay is really the worst thing in this world right? Because loving the same gender that you are is a terrible terrible thing. Because love has guidelines. Because loving anyone or anything outside of the ridiculous set of guidelines that society has infringed upon us is so terrible, right? Love is love and it can never be wrong. Period. End of story. 

To the people who believe in “good christian values and will not stand to watch another second of the show and that this is not what America is about”:

Religion, it has to be one of the worst excuses in this days time for hate, shaming, and oppression. You have the right to believe in whatever you want to believe, I get it and that is fine by me. You can believe in Unicorns and Santa Claus for all I care but the point is that you need to stop infringing your beliefs upon others and using your beliefs and religion in order to shame, hate and take away human rights from other people. A belief, a religion does not mean a fact. You cannot expect that because you believe in a God that believes homosexuality is a sin that others feel the same way and need to abide by your rules. You don’t believe in gay marriage, don’t have one. You don’t believe in abortions, don’t get one.But just because these are what you personally believe in does not mean others do and you should not expect them too, either. Nor should you expect to hold these people back from living life how they wish. As long as what you are doing is not harming anyone/anything, than you are allowed to do whatever and be whom ever you want to be. We all have freedom of religion in this country and that is also the freedom to have or to not have a religion  and to say that America is a christian nation is also again insanely ignorant. 

For all of you emailing me that you will no longer be watching this show due to one story line, good, don’t. I don’t need your hate and neither does the rest of the world. Good luck hiding under all of your ignorance and lack of understanding for lives other than your own. I am sure there are mannnyyy mannnnyy other shows on TV that will accomidate your closed mindedness. 

I will always preach for love, equality, kindness, understanding, acceptance, and education. There are many forms of sexual and non sexual partnerships outside of hetero and homosexual ones and they are all equal to one another. I believe in being unapologetically yourself always and I believe in loving and embracing each other for the many differences and similarities we all share. We live in a society so set on telling us that one small and narrow way to live life is how we need and should be living and it’s wrong. It is used as a means to control, to keep ignorant and to be obedient of the “norms” that have no merit or principal in nature. Question everything you know, everything you have been told, everything you think is the “norm”, explore, learn, experience, discover but most importantly love one another, be kind to one another and try to understand one another. One love, one life, one heart. 

Phew I feel a little better now.  

Sep 15 '12

A Chat I Had This Morning With An Ignorant Male Who Doesn't Understand The Definition of EQUALITY

  • The convo topic was Male Privilege (what else)
  • Me: I look forward to the day women gain equality
  • Him: Honesty I don't think equality is possible as we are different, but fairness and legitimacy should happen
  • Me: All people are different no matter what gender/sex you are. Everyone deserves to be treated as an equal regardless of anything. class rank/job/money/color/sexuality/gender/bodysize/religion/ethnic background/handicap/etc etc etc. Equality doesn't mean we're all the same it just means we all deserve the same amount of respect/rights/opportunities.
  • Him: Ok I agree with a lot of that, but I dunno I'm just not fully on board with the equality term...
  • Me: I don't understand how you do not agree with the term equality but ok
  • Him: Come to the concrete plant with me and work a day with the sledgehammer. We are different, you shouldn't be treated bad cause of it but in the end we are.
  • Me: I think you are confusing the term ABILITY with EQUALITY.
  • Him: Maybe I am but that's all I am saying
  • In case anyone was wondering the definition of EQUALITY is: The state of being equal, esp. in status, rights, and opportunities. NOT whether or not you can/are willing to lift a sledge hammer. So sorry sir but your argument is INVALID
Jul 2 '11

Body Image, Weight And Health

I wrote this a while ago as a response to someone. I feel the need to share this because I think a lot of people need to hear it.

You also said a line in which I cannot help but to counteract. “I know the world is full of pressures to be thin and beautiful and unfortunately that is how the world is….if you are pretty and thin, you are more likely to be hired, waited on, etc..” You are indeed correct; the world is like this, but just because that is how the world is does NOT by no mean make it correct and by abiding by these principles will never bring change to this world. Because the world wants to intimidate me and limit me in these ways is what makes me the activist I am. And instead of conforming to this pre-conceived, stereotypical way of life I refuse to abide by it and be suppressed by it. Instead I am fighting to change this world and to make it better. You cannot expect change in this world if you refuse to question why the world functions in this one way and if you refuse to take a stand against what needs to be changed. I refuse to sit back and let the world dictate what kind of job I get because of the color of my skin, the size of my jeans, my sexual preference, my gender, etc… or the kind of service that I receive, etc. Judging people by their body type and assuming they are unhealthy because of their size is assuming. Just because a person is thin does not make them healthy for you don’t know the level of physical activity, the eating habits, the drinking habits, their drugs habits or the smoking habits of strangers on the street and you cannot assume that a person is healthy or unhealthy based on their figure just like you can’t assume someone is a murderer or a crook based on their skin color. This IS what is wrong with the world, everyone feels like everyone knows everyone’s life just by looking at them. No one likes to be judged and no one should be judged based on their outward appearance. Your outward appearance says nothing about your life and who you are as a person or a human being. If you have not walked a mile in someone else’s shoes then you truly have no right to draw conclusions and assumptions about them based off of what you see.  I am beautiful no matter what size I am and so are you and so is everyone else on this earth but we are so consumed in our daily lives by labeling and judging others that we miss the beauty everyone posses because we are constantly searching for their flaws. That is what our society has taught us to do and that is what I will continue to fight against.

There is more to life than obsessing over a number on a scale, especially since weight fluctuates from day to day. Those extra pounds don’t make you unhealthy, they don’t define you as a person and they don’t take away from your already beautiful self. And if someone has a problem with that then they are not worth your time. That is the difference I am trying to teach you. People are always on other people for their weight because they claim they are concerned for their “health” but if there is a overweight person who is perfectly happy the size they are, even if their health is jeopardized then who am I or anyone else to tell them they have no right to be happy because they aren’t skinny or because they aren’t healthy. And who said that just because you are skinny means you are happy!? The stereotype is harmful both ways! You can’t assume that because someone is thin and physically fit means they are happy. Happiness is subjective, it is made to be perceived in different ways according to the individual and so is life. So stop judging a book by its cover and stop using health as the excuse to tear someone apart or ridicule them because the bottom line is health is not the reason why people have a problem with overweight people it is only an excuse used so people can put down others.

When it comes to my weight it is simple: I am content with myself at this weight and I will be content with myself at any weight in my future. Whether I become 110lbs, 230lbs or 550 lbs makes no differance because I have found happiness within myself and that is the most important part. Nothing and I mean nothing is more rewarding than the feeling of self acceptance, self happiness and self love. Weight cannot define happiness nor can it ever be correlated with happiness (even though in our society it often is). Your weight or your outward appearance should never compromise how you feel about yourself as a human being. Self love begins on the inside, never on the outside and that is wrong with todays society. Self-love, self-respect and happiness come from within and don’t let the next diet pill ad try to convince you otherwise. No one can be you better than you and no ‘look’ looks better on a person than a smile and self love.